I'm WHAT? For real? Actually??

Well it started out just as any other winter term would...I skipped all my morning classes the first week. About 2 weeks in, and still feelin' rich from my scholarship checks, I decided that Florence and I should have a girls weekend or overnight trip or whatever. Sooo, I decided that we could go to Portland for the night! Well....being that Stephen and I were so used to being with each other every night we knew that we'd miss each other....sooo yeah we sealed the deal the night before and well what do you know...that next month I miss my period. Here's some TMI for you. I had really irregular periods that would last from 4-14 days. I know...sucks to be me! So even though I knew I had them, I always always always thought I was pregnant every month....6 pregnancy tests and 1 visit to options pregnancy later I found out my life would change forever. I WAS PREGNANT DUH. Now here's how the conversation went telling Stephen this news.

*Anxious*
Me: Hun.....
*Playing COD*
Stephen:.......
Me: HUN
Stephen: Yeah babe what
Me: LOOK!! (shows him the 2 positive pregnancy tests)
Stephen: What
Me: LOOK!!!
Stephen: What's that mean?
Me: 2 LINES! IM PREGNANT
Stephen: Are you sure?? (still eyes are glued to the television)
Me: Yeah...okay well thank you for being excited
Stephen: I am...it's just you always think you're pregnant. Get more tests.

Finally...after showing him 2 digital pregnancy tests and 2 more that I took to prove to my Mom and a note from Options Pregnancy stating I am indeed pregnant...his first words are: "I'm scared."
You're scared? Uhhh...about what? Last time I checked your body, hormones and life in general aren't going to change drastically in the next 9+ months. Perhaps afterwards life will, but until then buddy...scared is my word.
Soooo...my body in the following months:

this...

About 7 months in to it..

8 months....

Full Term like WHAT

To this....

2009....summed up.

IT SUCKED. I mean...well.....no 2009 was probably the worst year of my life. Sure, some good things happened...I moved in with my boyfriend....but the bad definitely outweighed the good in this one. So on that note....2009 can kiss my butt.

Famery

I guess you can kind of say that we had to grow up fast. Dad got sick around 1998 and from then on it was Mom who was his main caretaker. Florence and I helped as much as we could and by the time we were in Middle School we were able to do all the things necessary to keep his care up to give Mom a break sometimes during the day. I really don't know how to explain what kind of sick Dad was, but it all started in the brain. There were so many surgeries done in such a short time period, his brain and body never really got the right amount of time to recuperate before the next so it just really took a toll on him. As sad as everything that happened...it couldn't have happened to such a perfect person. I'm not saying it's good that all of that has happened to him, but he had so much love and support from everyone he knew that he wouldn't have to worry about who would take care of him. Which brings me to my MOM. She is one of the strongest people I know. Her and Dad we're just made for each other. He had a love for her that I still kinda tear up about. It was a pure type that one really looks for in husband. And Mom...she would do anything for him. I know there's a lot of women out there who would have just given up and put their husband in a nursing home, but Mom knew that no one would be able to give him the love and care that he needed and deserved.
The last year or so with Dad were the both the best and hardest. You could tell he was getting tired, and his body was showing it as well. At the same time though, some of the funniest and best memories were made. I'll never forget his last night with us. I was supposed to be going back to school on Friday to go to pick Stephen up from the airport. Well, he still had some tattooing to finish up on, so I decided I wouldn't go up till Sunday after church. Saturday night came around and was......perfect. Is it weird or horrible of me to think that on that night I thought to myself 'Is tonight it? Is tonight our last night with him?' It was filled with laughter, music and most of all pure joy and love. We each sang a song with Dad...we put him in the recliner to relax...we had garlic chicken pizza from Papa Murphy's and Raspberry Crystal Lite. If the Lord was going to take him any time...I'm so glad he waited till we had that beautiful night with him. Even though I should be happy now that he is in a better place...I still can't bring myself to letting go of the fact that he's not here with us. Call me selfish, but I want him here. Now.  I want him to see these two beautiful grandchildren of his and how happy they are. Nia, Florence's baby is a little reminder to me of him. There are so many things that she does whether it be a facial expression or yawn or a smile or the way she folds her hands....they all are just sooo Dad. I think that's what I'm gonna miss most about not being able to see Nia so much...she just possesses all of Dad's qualities. And Leimana...oh gosh. Her and Dad together would be such a crack up! She is such a little weirdo sometimes and I LOVE it! Ugh. I hate writing about Dad because it just reminds me of the fact that he's not here and I keep replaying the night he passed away over in my head. But I have to write about him because he really was our family's rock. He's what glued all of us together......and I just really MISS him...especially right here...right now......

This guy...

Oh the younger years...

What the heck. I swear I always hated writing and now look at me...a BLOGGER!! I guess I have a lot to say, and since the only person I will be associating with for the next few weeks is my 9 month old daughter, I thought I would save some of my breath and write on. Here goes!!
Florence. When that word is brought up, most think of the darling little Italian city. Me? No. I think of a girl I like to call my sister. We get each other. And I know, I know...a lot of people are like, "Oh my gosh, sister by blood...best friend by choice." We were all each other had for a few years and found out during that point and time that we actually really liked each other and that she was my new role model, fashion icon etc, etc.

See?

Anyway...my point is, is that I love my sister and she is truly my BFFLTIWAHHBO...try and figure that out. 

The Beginning?

Honestly, I have no idea where I should start. Should it be......when I was born, when I met Stephen, when Leimana was born?? There have been probably the biggest changes in my life starting around right after I graduated high school. So I guess what I'll do is give you a quick background on me, and then really start from there!